Zhongguo Shisi (China 14)

My god, time is running out! As I start this, we have less than two weeks remaining here in China, and, by the time I finish, we will be down to about a week! So many things yet to do, and so little time to do them! We are already making plans for our return. For those of you who are interested (hopefully, my wife and friends and family of the others), here is our flight itinerary for coming home:

December 20, Leave Hong Kong at 9 AM arriving in Tokyo at 1:45 PM on Northwest Flight 18H

December 20, Leave Tokyo at 3:15 PM arriving in San Francisco at 7:15 AM on Northwest Flight 28H

December 20, Leave San Francisco at 9:50 AM arriving in Minneapolis at 3:27 PM on Northwest Flight 580

One thing that is troubling me about this is that, if we leave at 9 AM on Dec 20, and it takes us twenty hours to return home, but we return on Dec 20, do we get home on the same day, or the next day?  Anywise, there is no time to think about that now, as I need to fill you in on our latest adventures!

We were invited to attend a wedding. Apple, one of the students in Mrs. Hou's class, had a friend who was getting married in her hometown of Sihui. She talked to her friend and the school officials and made the arrangements so we could attend. Unfortunately, Rita was going to visit some schools and businesses with Mrs. Krim and Forrest in Huaji and Matthew and Scott had already made plans with some students to go to the town of Yangjian in their quest to find some swords. The rest of us, along with Mrs. Guo and her 8-year old son Li Bo, were able to attend. Apple left on Friday for Sihui, but she had made arrangements with another girlfriend (a police officer with a drivers license) and her brother-in-law (who owned a van) to come and pick us up on Sunday (December 5).

Traditional Chinese weddings are normally two-day affairs with the first day spent at the home of the bride and the second at the home of the groom. We were invited to the first day's festivities. The plans were changed however, and we were told that we would not be picked up until about 11:30, so be sure to eat lunch as supper would not come until about 7 PM. We were out at the front gate at 11:30, but Apple did not come until after 12 noon. No matter, it gave those who hadn't eaten time to grab something before we left. It was a gray and drizzly day -- not the best weather for a wedding, but what the hay! Apple, her friend, and the friend's two little nephews arrived shortly after noon, and we were off!

We got to the bride's apartment and were seated in the living room. This was a fairly large apartment by Chinese standards, but there were about 40 people inside. No matter, we were seated in the living room around a table, and the food started to show up. Sihui is famous for its oranges, and we were served basketfuls. (Which ones do you like best?) Next, a large bowl of noodle soup appeared, and we were offered some, and of course, seconds and thirds. Finally, came the candies, and we were starting to wonder why we had to eat before hand, but what the heck, it was a wedding.

We got to meet the bride, who was absolutely gorgeous (What bride isn't?). She had on a beautiful white flowered wedding gown, with white net gloves and a beautiful veil. She could have posed for the cover of "Bride Beautiful" back home. I thought we were attending a traditional Chinese wedding? Well, China is changing. They, of course, wanted pictures of the bride with her new American friends, so we posed. We were then told we had to leave the apartment and go stand in the stairway. The groom was coming with his gang, and we didn't want to miss the entrance.

What an entrance it was! And this was the tradition of the Chinese wedding. When the groom comes for the bride, he has to buy his way in. The women lock the door, and the men have to barter a price. The men showed up, all dressed with western styled suits (the groom carrying a bouquet of flowers), and a huge commotion ensued. The men were shooting "silly string" from a can through the grates of the door at the women who were yelling and screaming inside! The men were yelling back, and rattling the door almost off its hinges. If I did not know it was a wedding, I would have thought we were at a lynching party. This went on for several minutes before the door was finally flung open and the men rushed in yelling at the top of their voices. However, the ordeal was not over. The bride was safely tucked and locked in a bedroom, and they wouldn't let the groom have her until he bought one of her shoes. The tradition is to hide a shoe, and the groom must either buy it or find it before he can carry his bride off. We later found out that after paying 900 Yuan to get through the front door, the shoe came cheap at 10 Yuan ($112 and $1.20 respectively). He found his bride and now would take her back to his hometown just outside of Sihui for the wedding ceremony. So, into the cars we piled, and off we went in a western style wedding procession. However, as this looked western, it was anything but that. We were in China, and this is where gunpowder and firecrackers were invented.

As we drove down the highway, people were tossing packs of firecrackers from the windows in the cars in front of us! Our driver, a police officer, did her best to swerve to avoid any direct hits. I kept wondering what would happen in the US if people started throwing firecrackers out car windows -- then another thought occurred to me, What is going to happen when the Chinese discover road rage!? Not a pleasant thought.

We got to the village and piled out of the cars. As we walked down the main street, they continued to light the packets of firecrackers and tossed them off to the side. People started to line the street, and now we discovered that we were a bigger attraction than the wedding party! They had seen weddings before, but they had never seen Americans. The children would come up, and when we would greet them with a, "Ni hao," they would dart away, only to return a few minutes later. This circle kept repeating itself, and I would continually extend my hand in friendship, but they would just run away. Finally, one brave soul reached out and shook my hand, and then the flood of children began! All of them wanted to shake my hands! I must have shaken the hands of hundreds of children, each coming up as we worked our way to the temple. I found myself in a sea of children. Before getting to the temple, we stopped at the home of the groom where the bride changed from her white bridal gown into the traditional red Chinese wedding dress.

We finally reached the Ancestor Temple where the ceremony was to take place. Inside the temple there was a group of senior citizens playing Mahjong (a Chinese game) who didn't seem the least interested that a wedding was taking place. I was given a temporary reprieve from the children who stopped outside the temple, along with most of the others from the village. Inside the temple it was only the Mahjong players, the bride and groom, their parents and ourselves. They had a very brief ceremony, which included the burning paper in front of the ancestor's altar to promote wealth for their ancestors in the afterlife. There was no one officiating at the ceremony. The bride and groom knew what they needed to do, and soon it was over (the children during all of this worked up their courage to come inside to shake my hand some more, we kept shooing them out, but they kept coming back). Through all this, and the Mahjong game, the bride and groom kept doing what they were doing totally undisturbed by all of the commotion.

After the ceremony, the groom went upstairs to hang a huge firecracker ball from the upstairs balcony. He came back down to light it from underneath. I went outside to get a picture of it going off -- what a mistake that was. As it went off, it was so deafening I had to cover my ears. "Shrapnel" pelted me (fortunately, no live ones came my way). After the smoke cleared, they wanted pictures of the bride and groom with their new American friends, and then we went to the "VFW" for dinner. It was the large village banquet hall that had both an upstairs and a downstairs. The place was full -- I think the entire village was in attendance. We ate an assortment of pig organs, chicken, vegetables and rice. Later, the bride and groom visited every table for a toast. The dinner ended around 6:30, and everybody left. We made our way back to the van, climbed in and made our way home. What a day!

As I mentioned before, it had been drizzling off and on all day. When we arrived back at the school (around 7:30), English Corner was in progress. We hold English Corner in one of the courtyards in front of a dorm (outside), and one would have suspected that few students would show up on a night like this. However, this was our last English Corner. There was Rita, Matthew, Scott, Mrs. Krim, and Forrest surrounded by students with umbrellas. They were waiting for us, so even though we were tired, we joined in the fun. It turns out that, not only were our students there, but there were many from Xi Jiang University, and people from the Zhaoqing community at large who had heard about us, and came to join in the activities. They were so disappointed to discover that we were leaving for home so soon and that there would be no more English Corners. I think they would have stayed to talk all night, if we would have been up to it, but, alas, we all eventually were able to pull ourselves away and get back to our dorms and out of the rain.

We needed to get to bed early Sunday night as Monday was going to be another long day for us. The school had arranged for us to visit Louding Middle School -- about a 2+ hour drive from Zhaoqing. Louding Middle School is one of the most prestigious middle schools in Guangdong Province. Many of its graduates are admitted to the best universities throughout all of China. The Headmaster graduated from Zhaoqing Institute of Education, so our school officials have a strong connection. Mrs. Guo, Mrs. Krim and Elane, a Chinese student at our school from Louding, accompanied us on our excursion. When we arrived, there was a big sign at the front gate welcoming us. We arrived during a class break when all the students could see us. They were lined up on the balconies of the buildings shouting their "Hellos," trying to get our attention. We were escorted into a reception room and offered tea. We were given a brief introduction to the school and then a tour. We started in the library.

Their library has over 120,000 volumes. There are student and faculty reading rooms, and recreation rooms equipped with, what else, ping pong tables. We were also shown some of the dorm rooms, classrooms, the canteen, the old track (built along side the ancient city wall, and where the new track is being constructed). We walked out to the school gate for group photos, and then we were treated to a nice lunch that included chicken, duck heart, ribs, and an assortment of vegetables. After lunch we visited a group of about 150 students from the English Department. We broke up in to groups with each of us having about 20 students. I always try to grab the students who are sitting in the back. They are usually boys, and I figure that they are either the shy ones, the ones whose English is not the best, or both. I was right on. I talked for a bit, telling them about Minnesota and our experiences in China. I then asked if anyone would like to ask me any questions -- no one did. So, I asked each of them to tell me something about themselves -- the operative word here is little. What would it take to get these students to talk? I asked, "Does anyone like the NBA?" That was the key! From then on, they wouldn't stop talking. The NBA is very popular in China, and boys follow it with as much zeal as anyone in America does. That has been my "ace in the hole" for situations like this, and I am amazed at how much English some of these students can know when they are talking about basketball!

We left at 2:00 PM to return to our school. We would have stayed longer except a reporter from a magazine in Guangzhou was coming to interview Scott and Rachel about their leadership project. Their project of environmental awareness and keeping Zhaoqing beautiful has really been a big hit. It has had newspaper and television coverage, and now a magazine was going to do a piece about it. Scott was with the reporter from about 5:00-9:00 that night. I hope we get a copy of the article before we come home!

Monday evening I headed over to Xi Jiang University for English Corner. Alas, this was likely to be my last visit to Xi Jiangs. I was tired, but I had promised some students the week before that I would come. They wanted to sing Christmas carols! So, I took my group of 12 -- hmmm! We sang the Twelve Days of Christmas. I assigned them each a verse, and we went at it! As we were singing, others wanted to find out what we were doing. By the time we finished (singing it about 12 times), we had a full choir with about 3 or 4 people singing each part. They kept telling me, "You are a good singer!" And I kept responding, "You are liars!" But, it was all in fun, and finally we said good-byes and I went home.

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I was kept busy with classes during the day, but each evening I ended up going downtown with a different group of students for dinner. Tuesday evening I was accompanied by Belinda (Huang Yi Hui), Joey (Guan Yue Luan), Millie (Huang Chu Chan), Candy (Li Jing Jing), and Lisa (Zeng Li Chang). They took me to a nice noodle and dumpling restaurant. Nothing weird about the food here --very palatable for an American. We talked about noodles. They wanted to know about American noodles, and they knew that Italy is famous for its noodles. I pointed out to them that Italy learned about the noodles from the Chinese, so the noodles are not all that different, except that the Chinese noodles are made from rice flour. We talked about the different kinds of noodles (we were eating 5 different types of noodles), and how to make spaghetti (you boil noodles and heat a jar of Prego in a saucepan). But, the most important part of the evening was the chance the students had to talk about themselves and their stories. That has been my continual theme throughout my stay here. During class I tell the students about myself and life in America, but when we go out I let them talk about their lives. One of them (I won't name names) confided that she didn't think she would be a good teacher because she is not a good student. We talked about that, and the possibility that she might be a better teacher because this would give her a better understanding of most of her students. We talked, we shared, we ate -- how Chinese.

Wednesday afternoon (December 8) the school held the closing ceremonies for the Sports Meet (which was held Nov 24-25). It was not that big of a deal -- we were not even officially invited. All they were doing was handing out the prizes to the classes with the highest scores, but I thought I'd go just to see what it was all about. The ceremony started at 4:20, and at about 4:00 I went to grab my camera. I have two. One is a cheap 35mm that I use to take prints with, and the other is an old manual camera that I use for color slides. I was looking for my old camera -- couldn't find it. Time was short, so I'd look after the ceremony. The ceremony was pretty uneventful, except that, again, the entire student body was gathered on the playground. The awards were handed out, and the whole thing was over by 5 PM. As we were all leaving, a group of three first-year students (Chelsea, Wing, and Helen) approached and asked where I had been the night before. They had come to visit, but I wasn't home (out to dinner). They asked when it was their turn, I asked, "How about tonight?" "Really?" was their reply, and I said sure, why not! We met a half hour later, and off we went. Being first year students, and from out of town, they were not all that familiar with downtown. But, we thought we'd just go looking for a nice place to eat. We found one, and when we entered, the hostess led us upstairs. They didn't know what was going on, but I did. The downstairs is the inexpensive part of the restaurant for the locals, and upstairs is a different menu with higher prices for tourists (not just foreigners, but Chinese tourists as well). As it was a Wednesday, there wasn't any one else upstairs but us. The prices weren't too outrageous, but the girls sure thought so. I told them, just order and we'll eat and don't worry about it. I explained to them the program that I had going with my class, and the many students that I have treated to dinner, and that they, who are the first year students who come to visit the most, certainly were entitled to the same treatment. So, we had a real nice dinner, and it cost me the equivalent of about $9 for four!

I returned home and started looking for my camera. It was nowhere to be found. Could someone have stolen it? Nonsense, anyone who would have had the opportunity would have grabbed this laptop first. No, I must have gone somewhere with it, set it down, and left it. Thursday morning I asked Mrs. Guo if the school had a "lost and found," and I explained to her what had happened. She said that if someone finds something, it is turned in to the President's office, and they put a notice on the bulletin board. And, she reads the bulletin board every day and had not seen a notice. "Did I misplace it in my room?" she asked. I assured her that the camera was too big and my apartment too small to have overlooked it. She said she would check into it. Within hours, not only was it posted on the bulletin board, but students were enlisted to make signs announcing the missing camera. The school feels responsible (and that makes me feel bad, because it is missing due to my carelessness). I have had numerous students coming to ask if it has shown up or for a description so they can go look for it! It has not shown up as yet, but one does appreciate the effort people are making to find it.

Thursday evening I went out with the seventh group in my class (one more to go). They were Connie (Liang Jing), Lily (Su Xiao Li), Elane (Liang Hua Ping), Benny (Meng Jian Feng), and Shirley (Xu Wei). I have mentioned what my intentions are in having these evenings out. We do not necessarily have to go to dinner, but we can do anything the students want (my personal preference would be to go sightseeing). But, hey, these are college students, and I can't blame them for wanting to get a nice meal out of the deal. Also, it might be added that there is a significance to eating in China in the formation of friendships. Food is the foundation of all relationships. Since, we are forming friendships, it only makes since that they choose eating. But, they are also a little sneaky in that they often try to find food that might make me cringe. Thursday evening was one of those times. I was going to eat jellyfish. I was a little worried because not even everyone in the group was going to eat it (some ordered other things), but I was ordered a large bowl (the others had small ones) of noodle soup with jellyfish. They said I got a large bowl because I was so strong, but I know they wanted to see if I would eat the whole thing. Well, I did. Jellyfish is not something I would ever order for myself (as well as many other things I have eaten), but, if there is one thing I have learned over these last months, it is that this experience is more than just about me. I am, to be sure often at the center, but by and large, this experience is about China, and I'm just along for the ride. I try to remember that on occasions like this, and then those experiences that might otherwise seem unpleasant, become so much better. Eating jellyfish, and bugs (see China 13), and other such things are just such occasions.

Friday morning (December 10) Rachel and I were invited by Mrs. Hou to visit Duanzhou Middle School on the east end of Zhaoqing. She has a former student who teaches there, and Mrs. Hou had made arrangements for us to visit her class. We arrived at the school just before 9:00 and were able to visit the class just before class ended. At 9:00 the entire student body went out to the playground for their morning exercises. We watched for a bit, and then the school's headmaster discovered that we were visiting. We were quickly pulled down to his office where we received a very warm welcome. We also met the assistant headmaster, and the head of the English department was summoned. We drank some tea, and then we were taken to visit another class. We talked and answered some questions, and then it was decided that Rachel would be taken to another classroom, while I stayed to talk some more. Shortly after 10:00 we were regrouped and taken to a conference room to meet all the teachers in the English department.

They asked so many questions, but the one that stands out was, "What do you do when a student asks you a question that you don't know the answer to?" The smart aleck in me wanted to respond, "It has never happened!" However, I could tell this teacher was dead serious, and, as she asked, the others all leaned forward in their chairs in anticipation of some great answer that this teacher from America would share with them. As I paused to think, another asked, "How do you deal with the embarrassment?" And, I immediately knew their problem. These teachers were all young -- in their late teens, or early twenties (the department head was maybe 30). They were teaching a subject (English) in which their education did not exceed that of their students by very much. They also live in a culture in which a Teacher is revered, respected, and looked to for answers. They did not have all the answers, and this causes them to lose face! Without any further hesitation, I told them the story of Socrates. I told them that it is not my job, as a teacher, to have all the answers but to help students find the answers. So, if a student asks a question that I don't know the answer to, I admit that I don't know the answer, but then I invite them to join me in the search for the answer. I explained how this is, not only an effective way of teaching students how to learn on their own, but that it also avoids the embarrassment. My answer made them think of Kong Zi (Confucius), the Master, and they all responded with "Yes, yes, that is what the Master has also said." If it was good enough for the Master, it was good enough for them. It was encouraging to discover that people were still versed in the writings of Kong Zi.

We were going to leave at 11:00 (Rachel had to be back at school by 11:30), and they were so disheartened. I told them I would stay, but that I had to be back for my afternoon class at 2:30. This appeased them, so they let Rachel and Mrs. Hou go, and they took me to another classroom. Each class has 62 or 63 students. This class was no exception, but to give as many students as possible to listen to a foreigner, they brought 2 more classes of students in. There were over 180 students crammed into a room that is normally crammed with 60. But they didn't care. I talked about Minnesota, my family, our experiences in China, and then they started asking questions. How do you pick from 180 raised hands? One of the last questions I was asked was, "Will you sign my book?" Terror struck my heart! We have gotten into these frenzies in the past in which students ask us to sign their books (or anything else they can find for us to write on). But, we have always been in a group, which helps (somewhat) disperse the insanity of students pressing against you and thrusting their books in front of you. The thought of 180 students rushing the front of the classroom directly at me was too frightening to consider! Before I could give an answer, the English Department head answered by saying that I would sign the books of the class monitors. Thank God, I thought. There were only six books to sign! Wow, why hadn't other schools thought of this? I was then pulled out of the classroom, and the department head, along with four of the teachers were going to take me to lunch -- the headmaster was treating!

As we left the school gate, one of them asked me if I liked camel meat. I told her I didn't know, but I would be willing to try (I didn't say I wanted to try). We walked around the corner, and she pointed to an animal in front of the restaurant we were headed to, and exclaimed, "Camel!" I responded, "Well, back in the state I come from we call that a donkey!" (Now I wanted to try camel meat). We were seated in the restaurant, and I was seated next to the English Department Head (I am sorry that I don't have names. They told me their names, but I need to have them written down. I am afraid that I would butcher them otherwise). We were going to have hot-pot. They put a burner hooked up to a propane tank on the table with a pot of boiling water. You cook all your food right at the table. The women started ordering, and the food started coming. They had ordered donkey, chicken, pork, beef, and an assortment of vegetables. They ordered enough food to feed an army! They offered to order beer. No, I reminded them that I had to teach a class that afternoon and that tea would be fine. I realized that this was a tremendous treat for them. The Headmaster was paying for the lunch, and they got to cash in on that benefit. They were going to enjoy themselves!

We had a great time, and the food kept coming. Soon it was 1:00, and nobody was going anywhere. Don't they have to go back for classes? Then I realized that the Headmaster must have excused them for the rest of the day. They tried to talk me out of going back to my class. They wanted to know what I was doing after class. We talked, and they kept filling my bowl. I'm too full I objected, but no matter, we kept eating. They kept filling my glass with tea. No more, I said, so they took that to mean to order Pepsi. At 2:00 I said I had to get back to teach my class. You have plenty of time was their response. Were they going to let me go? Finally, at about 2:20 everyone had had enough to eat. We were seated by a window. The department head waved to some beggars out on the street. They came over, and she filled their bowls with our leftovers. As we left the restaurant, I was relieved to see the donkey still tied up outside! "What bus do you need to take back?" she asked. "No time for a bus; I need a taxi." No problem! Then they started talking in Chinese. They informed me that one of the teacher's boyfriends (who just so happened to be having lunch outside) had a truck and he would take me back to school. They all piled into the truck with me! They were going to get me home! They dropped me off at the school gate at 2:30; I got back to my apartment to gather my stuff for class and thought, "I really need to take a nap." But, off to class I went.

Saturday, December 11 I was invited to one of student's homes for lunch. Yosie (Xu Qing Yun) had invited me over the weekend before, but I could not make it. I told her that I would come this Saturday. Another student, Lucy (Feng Xiao Feng), picked me up at my apartment at 11:00, and we took the bus downtown to where Xu Qing Yun was waiting for us at the bus stop. We walked to Qing Yun's home. I had met her father once before. He is a police officer in Zhaoqing, so they live in an apartment complex for police officers (people usually live with their work unit). As we entered the gate, I mentioned to Qing Yun that this must be the safest neighborhood in Zhaoqing. She told me that just two weeks before her bicycle was stolen -- some thieves have nerve! We were met in the apartment by her mother. Her mother does not speak any English, so Qing Yun and Xiao Feng had to translate. The scary part was, as I listened to the mother, I was understanding a lot of her Chinese! We, of course, had tea, and some dried persimmons. Her father came home, and it was now time to make lunch. We were going to make jiaozi (dumplings). We had to put the stuffing on the dough, and then fold it. I had made jiaozi on a couple of other occasions, and I thought rather successfully, but Qing Yun's father was a pro! He showed me the secret, and then we were in business. We made them up, and then he fried some, and steamed the others.

We ate lunch and then he showed me his collection of ink stones which are the stones that the Chinese use for making their ink for calligraphy. It's part of the Four Treasures of the Scholar's Study. He had an artist make one hundred of them in which at the top of the stone, the artist carved the 100 flowers of China. It is an amazing collection. Each stone has carved, in intricate detail a natural scene with a flower, and some animal or insect. He was putting them in wooden display cases where he will store and display them. He also, through his daughter's translation, explained to me the Four Treasures of the Scholar's Study. The treasures consist of paper, ink, ink stone, and brush. Any Chinese scholars who are worth their salt have a nice set. He told me that ink stones are made mostly made in China (some are made in Japan, Korea, and Taiwan), but that the Chinese were the best. And, Zhaoqing is renowned in China for making the best ink stones in China!

Afterwards, he drove Xiao Feng, Qing Yun and I to a neighborhood where Qing Yun wanted to treat me to some local snacks. We ended up driving by the school where I had visited on Friday (the donkey was still tied up outside the restaurant), and dropped us off by an alley. We walked down the alley through a market where we finally stopped at a small booth for snacks. What she ordered looked like brownies, but smelled like kerosene. She was concerned, because many of her friends don't like this (no English word for it) because of the smell, but she assured me that they were quite tasty. Well, they didn't taste like kerosene, but they didn't taste like brownies either. It was edible, so I ate it. The shopkeeper brought out some deep fried yams, some wontons, some mushrooms, and some other things without names. I thought we were coming for snacks! These are snacks. I was still full from the jiaozi! But, alas, we ate. The walk back to the bus stop (about 2 miles) felt refreshing. Xiao Feng and I said good-bye to Qing Yun and returned to school.

The ARCC students and I were invited to the home of Shuman Ho on Saturday evening at 8:30. Shuman is an English teacher here, as well as the school's technical guru. He is a master of many things. He plays several musical instruments ranging from ancient Chinese instruments to modern western instruments. We were able to meet his daughter, and he and his wife served some snacks (more traditional styled snacks) along with tea and Coke. We took some pictures, and then Shuman got out his Gu Zheng, a 21 stringed instrument, and played several songs for us. He told us about his Gu Zheng teacher, who is a Professor at the Guangzhou Music Conservatory. He is one of the most respected musicians in all of China and is looking for an opportunity to take his music overseas. We left early (around 10:00). This was not meant to be a long drawn out affair. Shuman has been most helpful to us with technical support. He is also extremely busy. In addition to teaching here full-time he has three part-time jobs (His wife, Irene, also teaches here full-time). He works the extra jobs to help pay for his computer equipment, his musical instruments and lessons, and, most importantly, to pay for the best education he can get for his daughter! This was really the first opportunity he had during our stay, to have us to his home. I am grateful that we could do it before we left.

Thus, ends another week in China. It is now Sunday morning. Tonight the school is having a Farewell Party for us. A week from today we leave Zhaoqing for Hong Kong, and a week from tomorrow we are on a plane headed for home. Wow!

Till next time,

Zaijian,
Gordy